Holiday Cheer
Well, here we are again – the “holiday season.” Last year I attempted to be “merry” as a good will gesture to help close out my marriage with Kathleen on a happy note. She knew it was forced, but I held back on some bah-humbugs and tried to get into the “joy of Christmas” for a few days. We even took Christmas presents to my parents – which I’m sure surprised them. In the end I’m still not a big fan of the holidays. (Heads up to the family – Scrooge is back but I still expect roll-up cookies and Polish kielbasa on Christmas day.)
Last year’s Scrooge-sabbatical and my general crustiness aside, as holiday seasons go I have to say that this year seems less painful.
Maybe it’s because the pain of the first 11 ½ months of 2008 has dulled my senses – Stock market pain, real estate pain, career adjustments, divorce, friends and family with pains of their own, and a cat.
Or maybe it’s because the world around me seems less festive this year so there are fewer things to be curmudgeonly about. I’m not trying to take pleasure in the pain of others – but there seem to be fewer advertisements, smaller Christmas displays, reduced crowds at stores and not as many cheery “happy holidays” endings to phone calls. I do miss the holiday parties though. (C’mon people… we still need to eat!)
No. I think the reason this holiday season seems less painful is because of hope.
I believe that 2009 will be a better year for me and many others. I am hopeful for the stock market, my day job and my sex life. (I’ll take 2 out of 3 and still be happy.) I have hope for the overall global economy and the wars being fought abroad – although I’m not so naïve to think that there won’t be more pain first. I feel that change is coming and that the changes will be good. 2009 will be about rainbows, unicorns and happy endings.
Now, I know what some of you are thinking. Christopher is stupid drunk. Let me assure you that (a) I am completely sober and (2) of course I’m kidding about the unicorns. Furthermore, I’m not giving up on my convictions that we are all doomed – individually and as a species. All I’m suggesting is that 2009 will probably be a better year than 2008 for most of us and that this belief has softened me up a pinch.
Before I blow more sunshine up anyone’s ass, I’m guessing that many of you are not familiar with my views on Xmas. And some of you that are could probably use a refresher. So here is a quick rerun from my 1995 holiday greeting to friends and family:
I am not a religious man. Christmas is supposed to be a religious holiday. So the only reason for me to get excited about Christmas would be if I were a bourgeois lemming who had fallen victim to the capitalist pig marketing machine that has over-commercialized a day that was originally set aside to celebrate the birth of our savior so that they can profit from our irrational spending frenzy. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I use to dream of being a capitalist pig and many of my best friends are religious and/or bourgeois lemmings. For me, Christmas is just another day on the calendar. I’m just sayin’.
Indeed, many of the holiday traditions seem silly or ridiculous to me. But I will go along with one of the general themes of the season – a desire common for nearly all religious and non-religious people during the holidays – the increased hope for peace on earth and good will to all. It’s unachievable, but it’s a nice sentiment.
My ex-wife says that I’m so crusty I should be stuffed with fruit filling and baked into a pie. Hmmm… I like pie. But in an effort to be less dessert-like I’ll close with the following thoughts:
I am grateful for my friends, my family and all of the good things that have happened for me. The bad stuff – well, life ain’t perfect so I’ll look for the good and not dwell on the bad. My New Year’s wish for all of you is health, happiness and prosperity. I have hope that things will get better for most of us – at least for a while. In the end we’re all doomed, so try to enjoy what you get. I will.
Happy Winter Solstice, Chanukah, Christmas, Kwanza, New Year and general holiday season to all.
17 Comments
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Christopher,
Very well written. Here’s something else to be grateful for – if you ever lose your job as an accountant, I’m sure any reputable newspaper would love to hire you as a columnist!
Candice – if there is an option to get paid to write I’d give up accounting. Assuming it pays well enough. (Doesn’t even have to pay as well as accounting.)
I’d probably still do tax returns on the side, but just for the cool clients.
Thanks for the compliment and let me know if you have any friends in publishing.
I think if you “are going to blow sunshine up” anything it should be an arse not an ass!
Mary Ann – arse v. ass… is that your professional opinion?
And Dave – yes… that was a deliberate reference to a “happy ending”
Christopher,
I hope 2009 is a better year for you, and remember, Two out of Three Ain’t Bad!
As far as the newspaper columnist thing goes, you don’t want to go there. Trust me on that one.
Hello Scrooge…thought you might need a little X-Mas Fun…check out http://xmasfun.com/Default.asp. And, remember “Jesus is the Reason for the Season”. -Annie
Christopher,
As we know life IS pain. 2009 will be electodes to the genitalia tortuous. All we can do is throw our small scrap of immortality efforts into the cosmos and move on. Thusly, I applaud your coconut.
Rick R –
Thank you. And I applaud your reference to one of my all time favorite movies… The Princess Bride. Anyone who says differently is selling something.
That or turn your head and cough. Well we dont say “ass” to be PC with the patients things like….”bottom” are used or a little discomfort to your backside. Actually now that I think about it I think in 2009 it will be less sunshine and more…. Oh my!!!!! up our arses 🙂
I enjoyed the blog! Happy Chanukah back to you! I never was a ritualistic Catholic and now that I am seeking conversion to Judiasm, I make a bad Jew. I forget to go to temple, I still can’t figure out Hebrew (but my German still rules), and I was sick of Christmas music back in October.
I’m sticking to Halloween. My inner goth chick revels.
Hope is the cruelest mistress… that is my professional opinion.
If you ever lump that cat in the “pain” category again I’m going to come and get him (I still have the keys) and post the bachelor party story as a comment on your blog.
Wishing you a very merry Christmas full of so much kielbasa and so many roll up cookies you throw up The Joy of Christmas all over everything!!!!
Hey My Friend,
Yup, last year was tough, but you are blessed with a multitude of folks who care about you, your abilities are sound, there will always be a need for your job skeeeulz, and I heard they are making April Fools Day 2..so ya got that goin’ for ya…which is nice! Have a peaceful Christmas filled with good things.
John
Chris – Saw a story on the news last week and thought of you – check this out and join the club: http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=6490720&page=1
Happy Holidays – Bah Humbug – See you soon.
El
A “Bah Humbug Club”? Why didn’t I think of that? Maybe we should start an American version!
I agree with good ridance to 2008 and also hope for 2009. Try to focus on what you do have: being able to stay warm, eat what you want, and friends who care for you (even if we don’t see you as much as we would like)…If you’re not careful, I may start singing Julie Andrews “My Favorite Things” to further “cheer you up”.
My only other comment is you forgot to include the most important holiday in your list….”Festivus”!
Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens…
Happy Festivus.
Well i read your blog and i heard baw humbug right back at ya. Grass huts and Coconuts in Hawaii or something is what I need not this cold weather. Anyway merry xmas and happy new year I know I will see u soon when the tax man cometh to take nothing because thats what we made this year. haha…..