Well, here we are again – the “holiday season.”  Last year I attempted to be “merry” as a good will gesture to help close out my marriage with Kathleen on a happy note.  She knew it was forced, but I held back on some bah-humbugs and tried to get into the “joy of Christmas” for a few days.  We even took Christmas presents to my parents – which I’m sure surprised them.  In the end I’m still not a big fan of the holidays.  (Heads up to the family – Scrooge is back but I still expect roll-up cookies and Polish kielbasa on Christmas day.)   

Last year’s Scrooge-sabbatical and my general crustiness aside, as holiday seasons go I have to say that this year seems less painful. 

Maybe it’s because the pain of the first 11 ½ months of 2008 has dulled my senses – Stock market pain, real estate pain, career adjustments, divorce, friends and family with pains of their own, and a cat. 

Or maybe it’s because the world around me seems less festive this year so there are fewer things to be curmudgeonly about.  I’m not trying to take pleasure in the pain of others – but there seem to be fewer advertisements, smaller Christmas displays, reduced crowds at stores and not as many cheery “happy holidays” endings to phone calls.  I do miss the holiday parties though.  (C’mon people… we still need to eat!)

No.  I think the reason this holiday season seems less painful is because of hope. 

I believe that 2009 will be a better year for me and many others.  I am hopeful for the stock market, my day job and my sex life.  (I’ll take 2 out of 3 and still be happy.)  I have hope for the overall global economy and the wars being fought abroad – although I’m not so naïve to think that there won’t be more pain first.  I feel that change is coming and that the changes will be good.  2009 will be about rainbows, unicorns and happy endings. 

Now, I know what some of you are thinking.  Christopher is stupid drunk.  Let me assure you that (a) I am completely sober and (2) of course I’m kidding about the unicorns.  Furthermore, I’m not giving up on my convictions that we are all doomed – individually and as a species.    All I’m suggesting is that 2009 will probably be a better year than 2008 for most of us and that this belief has softened me up a pinch.

Before I blow more sunshine up anyone’s ass, I’m guessing that many of you are not familiar with my views on Xmas.  And some of you that are could probably use a refresher.  So here is a quick rerun from my 1995 holiday greeting to friends and family:

I am not a religious man.  Christmas is supposed to be a religious holiday.  So the only reason for me to get excited about Christmas would be if I were a bourgeois lemming who had fallen victim to the capitalist pig marketing machine that has over-commercialized a day that was originally set aside to celebrate the birth of our savior so that they can profit from our irrational spending frenzy.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that.  I use to dream of being a capitalist pig and many of my best friends are religious and/or bourgeois lemmings.  For me, Christmas is just another day on the calendar.  I’m just sayin’.

Indeed, many of the holiday traditions seem silly or ridiculous to me.  But I will go along with one of the general themes of the season – a desire common for nearly all religious and non-religious people during the holidays – the increased hope for peace on earth and good will to all.  It’s unachievable, but it’s a nice sentiment.

My ex-wife says that I’m so crusty I should be stuffed with fruit filling and baked into a pie.  Hmmm…  I like pie.  But in an effort to be less dessert-like I’ll close with the following thoughts:

I am grateful for my friends, my family and all of the good things that have happened for me.  The bad stuff – well, life ain’t perfect so I’ll look for the good and not dwell on the bad.  My New Year’s wish for all of you is health, happiness and prosperity.  I have hope that things will get better for most of us – at least for a while.  In the end we’re all doomed, so try to enjoy what you get.  I will.

Happy Winter Solstice, Chanukah, Christmas, Kwanza, New Year and general holiday season to all. 

MORNING

By Christopher Ozdarski

When the bell rings, off I’ll go.

Have to work to make some dough.

The almighty dollar makes me salivate,

Because ‘they’ get so mad when I pay my bills late.

‘They’ – ‘they’ are the ones!

For them I sacrifice fun for funds.

Like a dog I toil, day in and day out.

But is it all worth it?  I’m starting to doubt.

What’s the point of having if there’s no time to enjoy?

Why burn yourself out to get a new toy?

The ‘thems’ and the ‘theys’ – it’s not really their fault.

My own spending habits are what I need to assault.

And what about work?  I think it’s time for a change.

A more rewarding job is what I need to arrange.

The time to reflect has finally arrived.

So far my life sucks.  I’m lucky to have survived!

I know what I’ll do.  I’m chucking it all.

The house, the car, the chain and the ball.

My day to day budget can be expecting big cuts.

All I really need is a grass hut and some coconuts.

No computer, no phones, not traffic, no bosses.

No worries of recession or capital losses.

Yes.  That’s it.  That’s what I’ll do.

But…  Where to begin?  I haven’t a clue.

Wait, wait, wait.  Perhaps I’m going to extremes.

My life isn’t as bad as sometimes it seems.

I have my health, my family, my friends.

I guess I just need to fix some loose ends.

They say each day is the first of the rest.

A few minor changes may really be what’s best.

My life on this earth is no living hell.

Oh damn.  There goes that bell.

© 1997