Ok, ok… so this is a little late.  I’ve been busy.  And, frankly, I didn’t care that much.  But I do owe a few people a little something I like to call:

I TOLD YOU SO

Three weeks ago Kris Allen was successfully crowned as American Idol for Season 8.  While this may have surprised a judge or two… and the media… and masses of idiots on the internet… this came as NO surprise to me.  I predicted Kris would win 5 weeks earlier back in mid-April.

Seriously though… I don’t know where all the hype was coming from.  Sure, Adam is talented – even good enough to be runner up on American Idol.  But I only know six people who wanted Adam to win.  (And I know a lot of people.)  Two owe me lunch, two owe me $1, and two are just in denial.

Actually, I know a lot of people who thought Adam might win but who didn’t want him to.  A lot of people got sucked into the hype and had serious concerns.  I’m guessing that several of them who don’t usually vote actually snuck in a few calls for Kris on 5/19. 

Now that we’ve all shared our collective sigh of relief… Congratulations to Kris Allen! 

And I’ll add this… I actually plan to buy his debut CD when it comes out.  And I don’t normally buy CDs – I’m more of a radio guy.  I expect it to be pretty good.  Not Grammy winning good, but definitely something I’ll enjoy.  There was never a chance that I was going to buy an Adam CD.

Here’s the script for Kris’ new commercial:

It’s nice when people buy your CD using Debit Mastercard.

But winning American Idol… priceless.

It occurs to me that I’ve done well with my bold GH&C predictions:  David Cook, Barack Obama, Kris Allen.  Dare I tempt fate?  I do:

-        Red Wings will win the Stanley Cup this Friday.  I’m prepared to bet a meal on it.  Any takers?  (Meal to take place in MICHIGAN and White Castle DOES count.)

-        The planet will not be destroyed by a black hole when they finally collide particles at the particle accelerator in Switzerland.  I’m relenting to the wisdom of my friend Dan P. on this one. 

-        Our planet will survive, but most of the human race will be obliterated on or about 12-21-2012.  Not because of the Mayan calendar or Nostradamus or some crazy 2^nd coming where a deity delivers all the good souls to a better place.  Our doom is inevitable and December 2012 is as good a prediction as any.  I’m probably wrong on this one, so you should still save for retirement.  But imagine the P-FUNK “I told you so” I’ll have for y’all if it happens.  Not that I’ll be around to enjoy it.

Christopher

I know several of you missed this week’s performances because you opted to watch something more important – Game 2 of the Western Conference Finals: Wings vs. Blackhawks.  I (of course) sacrificed for my fans and watched American Idol even though it’s somewhat pointless since we already know who will win.  Ryan pretty much let it slip last week. 

Oh?  You didn’t catch that?  Allow me to recap and help you with the math.

At the beginning of last week’s show Ryan noted that “over 88 million votes came in” with “just over one million votes separating the top two” contestants.  They (of course) didn’t mention who had more votes, but let’s just say it was Adam.  Sounds pretty close to call – probably less than 2 percent of all the votes separated Adam and Kris.  Even I won’t deny that a two percent swing is entirely possible week-to-week.  But what about Danny?  How many votes did last week’s “loser” get? 

Danny was never in the bottom three and he had a huge fan base.  Would anyone be surprised if he got 20% of last week’s votes?  25%?  30%?

Let’s just say for the sake of argument that Danny only got about 20% of the votes, so almost 18 million.  (I’m sure he got more.)  That leaves about 35.5 million votes for Adam and 34.5 million for Kris.

Let’s not be naïve… At this stage of the competition it’s no longer about who is the better singer.  It’s very much about who has built the bigger fan base.  Both Adam and Kris are very talented, but that doesn’t matter anymore.  I submit that based on last week, they have fan bases that are roughly equal in size.  So now it’s up to both of them to woo Danny’s fans. 

Based on the type of artist they’ve presented themselves to be, which one is more likely to capitalize on Danny’s departure?  Are people who were voting for Danny more likely to vote for Adam or Kris?  I refer you back to my article two weeks ago.  Kris will LOCK up this vote.

So here’s the math:

May 12^th = less than 2% of the votes separate Adam and Kris.

May 17^th possible scenario:  40% of Danny voters throw up their hands and say “F— it, I’m not voting for ANYONE.  This show SUCKS.”  10% of Danny voters are rebels and vote for Adam.  The other 50% vote for Kris, who’s style is closer to their beloved Danny. 

Assuming the same voters as last week:

Adam = 35.5 million + 10% of 18 million = 37.3 million.

Kris = 34.5 million + 50% of 18 million = 43.5 million. 

Add several million votes because it’s the finale but, at the end of the day, Kris will get 54% or more of the total making him the winner.  Simple math with a pinch of demographics and dash of human nature. 

As for this week’s performances… does it even matter?  Here’s the recap:

First Song – Favorite from the Season

Adam – Dressed all in black, including a wool trench coat with leather sleeves from the elbow down, he made a nice entrance and was surrounded by dry ice fog.  He made the right song choice by going back to his best performance of the season, “Mad World,” and it was nearly as good.  I thought it was better the first time but I guess I can’t argue with those who thought this performance was better.  Yea, yea… great stuff. 

Kris – White tee shirt and black vest with jeans.  He coulda shaved… finale after all.  Even Simon wore a dress shirt and suit jacket instead of a $3 tee shirt, although he needs to learn how to actually BUTTON his shirt.  Kris also chose wisely and reprised “Ain’t no Sunshine.”  Judges loved it – as they should. 

Essentially they both picked the right song and they both did a great job.  You know who didn’t do a good job?  Whomever is in charge of Randy’s wardrobe.  What was with that shirt-tie combo?

Second song – Simon Fuller Choice

Adam – Silvery gray suit, white shirt, blue tie.  Hated it.  Look, he sang ok, but I thought it was a terrible song choice for him.  And of course he threw in some screeching for no apparent reason.  Judges LOVED it – all of them.  Clearly they are all dippin’ into Paula’s stash.  Change is Gonna Come, but it didn’t come fast enough for me.  I thought Sayesha did better with this song when the judges picked it for her last season.  No surprise if you don’t remember it, she didn’t knock it out of the park either and she got booted that week (3^rd place). 

Kris – Dressed to sing on the beach in a long sleeve grey tee and jeans.  The judges all kinda panned it but I thought it was really good.  I disagree with Simon who said he didn’t do enough with it to make it his own.  I can see where it may have been lost a bit in the venue – cool and hip “basement” performance in a huge theatre.  But on TV it was fantastic.  I’ll tell you What’s Goin’ On… Kris is on his way to winning.

Eh… Adam fans will like Adam, Kris fans will like Kris.  This bodes well for Kris if the math above proves out. 

I kinda liked Paul’s satiny green dress.  It went well with her oompa loompa orange fake tan.

Third Song – The Kara and company crap

Instead of a contest winning song, Kara apparently worked into her contract that she could be one of the writers for the crappy song that the contestants are forced to sing.  And it was, in fact, crap.

Adam – Seriously… I readily admit that he had some great performances this season.  But apparently there were too many boundaries for him to properly sing “No Boundaries.”  Even Adam fans are probably scratching their heads and wondering “why did they make him sing that?”  Simon was all but imploring viewers to pretend they hadn’t seen this performance and vote based on his other songs.  I said it two weeks ago – the forced song will be his downfall.  Bonus for Kris that it was the last song.

Kris – The judges all belong in a rehab.  Kris did WAY better than Adam on this one.  I can hear this song making it to the radio if Kris sings it.  All things considered, he did a great job with it.  I can’t imagine it will be a top 10 hit, because it’s a CRAP song.  But Kris made it believable and it was far less irritating than when Adam sang it. 

How many more times can I say “crap” in reference to this song? 

What’s the difference between “No Boundaries” and a sack of crap?

Answer:  the sack.

Based on tonight’s performances and the season as a whole – Kris gets my votes.  Not that I actually vote.  Olive – back me up here.  ;-)

Prediction:  Kris Allen – Winner of American Idol Season 8.

Christopher

Weeks ago I predicted that these three would be the last ones in the race.  Last week I experienced a pinch of wishful thinking and hoped that Danny would go before Allison, but I knew it was pretty close to call.  So it’s no surprise that we are left with a sausagefest.  Even that great duet with Adam couldn’t save Allison.

All three of these guys are very good singers and deserve to be here.  But now it’s time to BRING IT.  Show us you’re the next American Idol.  First up…

Danny – Wearing an olive drab eastern block military style jacket over horizontal striped tee, he sang well but danced like a chicken.  Paula has been surprisingly lucid the last couple of weeks, but I wasn’t hip to her song choice for him.  He did ok, but I don’t think it got anybody’s Little Sister to Dance.

Kris – Charcoal matte finish leather shirt and comfortably behind a black grand piano, he has no reason to Apologize.  I wasn’t familiar with the song that Randy and Kara chose for him to sing but I thought he did a great job.  The judges argued about “not following through” or taking enough risk.  What do they know?  VOTE FOR KRIS.

Adam – Simon had him sing One.  Shouldn’t he be wearing red instead of a faded blue denim shirt with one too many buttons undone?  Kara called it “unbelievable” and Simon called it “brilliant.”  I thought it started out really good but then got too screechy.   Anyone else notice that he sticks his tongue out too much when he goes for the big notes?

First songs – A lot of good singing, but no “bring it” performances.  Now the contestants get to pick their own songs…

Danny – Frameless rectangle lenses, black tie and vest with white dress shirt and jeans.  Ok… I mocked him a bit last week with a Teletubby style bye-bye, but last week he just wasn’t that great.  Now, one week from the finale, he finally steps up and delivers a performance worthy of what I’ve been hoping for him all season.  He started out tender then ramped up to some passion without going over the top.  No note seemed out of place.  Danny… You Are So Beautiful to Me.  However, I fear it may have been too little too late.

Kris – Casual black collarless long sleeve shirt and faded jeans.  I’ll say it now… I was a bit worried about my boy last week.  No more.  He is IN IT TO WIN IT.  He ditched the band and went center stage, just him and an acoustic guitar.  No band?  No need.  He showed his musical genius by starting out with a hip hop song and rearranged it to suit his talents.  Then he delivered the goods.  The whole season he has been consistent and he has generally been getting better each week.  He sings, plays instruments (well enough to ditch the band) and regularly delivers a style that pleases his target market.   He’s not just a performer, he’s a musical artist.  He’s not Heartless.  He sings from the heart.

Adam – Hack job leather jacket over tee-shirt with “Rock” in rhinestones.  To me it was a second rate attempt at an Aerosmith cover.  It started out good but then he got all screechy and tongue sticking out.  Again.  Seriously… this is a singing competition, not a chance for you to demonstrate your fellatio technique.  (Sorry Paula, I suspect you don’t have the right parts for him to be interested.)  I’ll admit he’s belted out some great performances this season, but not tonight.  Even Simon hinted that he wasn’t as inspiring tonight.  Then he practically begged Adam’s fans to dial in.  I don’t think he’ll be Crying tomorrow night, but he should be nervous.

Prediction:  Could be close, but I think Danny is really done this time.  I would consider any other result a major upset since I still think Kris will win and I accept the fact that Adam has a large fan base.

Oh… one last thing… All you sick and twisted readers need to get your minds out of the gutter.  Last week when I wrote “Adam is going down” I was only suggesting that he will lose this competition.  I was not alluding to any suggestive sexual behavior.  WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?

I’m guessing that I wouldn’t be bolstering my case if I suggested that Adam should have sung “Love in an Elevator” instead of “Crying.”

VOTE FOR KRIS

Christopher

Matt’s departure last week was not unexpected, but I’ll admit that even I was surprised to see Adam standing next to him in the final moments.  Rumors abound on the internet (and even among some of my readers) that the show is rigged.  That the winner has been pre-determined and that Adam was purposely staged to be in the bottom two for shock value.  Me thinks not.  ADAM IS GOING DOWN.

But not this week.

I usually like it when the Idols rock out, but I was a little concerned this week.  My preferred advancers for the competition aren’t really hard core rockers.  I was hoping one of the contestants would take a quintessential rock anthem and completely rearrange it to sound ultra-cool and unique in a new way.  Or maybe the reverse – take a well know ballad and get it hopped up on Red Bull (that’s COMCASTIC).  You know… like taking a Johnny Cash tune and making it sound like Nine Inch Nails. 

Alas, the daring make-it-your-own spirit seemed to be missing.  I wouldn’t necessarily call this week’s performances karaoke, but the tweaks to the original songs were minimal and lacked the originality I was hoping for. 

Random thought… sure woulda been cool if Slash had joined Rickey Minor and the band on stage for the performances.

Adam – I want to talk smack.  I wanted him to kinda suck.  But the reality is that he was actually very good.  I love Led Zeppelin and he TOTALLY picked the right song.  He even had the rocker look with the all black, although I thought he maybe went overboard with the BeDazzler on the leather jacked.  (Then he must have loaned it to Kara, who also over-BeDazzled her leather jacket.)  Excessive silver studs and eye makeup aside, I can see how he’ll get a Whole Lotta Love this week.  However, I did feel queasy when the judges ALL excessively gushed about him.  WHY DON’T YOU ALL JUST GET A ROOM ALREADY?  Somebody get me a bucket.

Allison – Also all in black, with some new black highlights in her un-naturally red hair.  She looked the rocker part too – including the spike heeled, ankle high boots.  Her vocals were great, but I’ll agree with the judges – I think she picked the wrong song.  If she gets the boot I’m sure she won’t be a Cry Baby about it, but I hope she survives this week.  For my own diabolical reasons – Muhahahaha…

The Kris/Danny Duet – Eh… it was ok.  I wouldn’t call them Renegades with regard to the arrangement, but the song more-or-less suited them.  I’m guessing they would have liked a couple more shots at rehearsing, but it is what it is.  I don’t think this performance did either one of them any favors, but I don’t think it hurt them either.

Kris – Olive untucked, unbuttoned shirt over a blue shirt and black jeans.  More beatnik than rocker, but whatever.  He did sass it up a little, but I thought he could have done more with it.  I liked that he played a guitar because it helps to show he’s the more rounded artist.  He sings, he plays instruments, and he helps arrange the songs he sings.  Adam just “performs,” albeit very well.  I’m not going to blow a lot of smoke and suggest that this was a great week for Kris, but I do think the judges were unduly harsh.  Hopefully Idol voters will Come Together and advance him to the finals where he will CRUSH Adam. 

Danny – He may have screwed the pooch here and (hopefully) this was a crash and burn.  Don’t get me wrong… I like Danny.  He was one of my early favorites and I am not surprised at all that he is in the top four.  But I’m fighting for me and mine and I think he needs to go home now.  I had this vision of him playing a pimp in a 70’s cop show because of the pin striped suit, purple shirt and gold chains.  He just 86ed the jacket and the wide brim hat with the giant feather.  Dream On if you think that last note did him any favors.

The Adam/Allison duet – Allison’s first two lines seemed flat to me.  After that, they both sounded great.  They worked well as a team and they chose the right song.  Even the outfits worked, although her combat boots and his wide striped black/gray stretch pants did throw me at first.  Had the stripes of his pants been horizontal instead of vertical he would have had that whole “wicked witch” look going for him.  But I’m guessing I was the only one envisioning a house falling on him.  Not that I want him injured – I just want the meals I’ve got riding on this. 

Ok… this is what I’m thinking:  I know last week I predicted that Adam, Kris and Danny would be the final three.  But rock week wasn’t kind to Danny and Allison may get a little bump for that duet with Adam.  It’s by no means a lock, but I’m hoping Danny goes home this week instead of Allison.  I want this because it suits my end game, which is for Kris to win.

It’s all about demographics.  Kris and Danny are pulling from the same pool of voters – church going bible thumpers and soft rock / easy listening folk.  People who voted for Bush in 2004 plus common citizens who are ready for change but maybe want to take it a little slower.  Adam and Allison get the younger, edgy, progressive voters.  Let’s say for the sake of argument that these two groups of voters are equally split (which I doubt).

If Allison goes home this week then Kris and Danny are both fighting for votes from the same group of voters next week and one of them will end up short. This potentially puts Kris at risk next week which would be bad for me. I know that this presupposed that Kris survives this week, but I’m pretty sure he will eek it out. 

If Danny goes home this week then Kris is locked in for the final against Adam.  Essentially, if Danny goes home then most of the Danny voters will migrate to Kris – NOT Adam or Allison.  Thus, sad as it may be to see him go, it’s time for Danny bye-bye.

With a Danny departure resulting from his bad week and an Allison save courtesy of the Adam bump, we should have Adam, Allison and Kris left.  This would make next week a no-brainer.  Kris gets a bigger piece of the conservative crowd and there’s no way Allison can pull enough votes from Adam.  We are clearly on track for a Kris-Adam final.

So my prediction for this week is that Danny is done.  Furthermore, I’m predicting that next week Allison will go home.

Now, about that finale…

Assuming that this week and next week go as predicted, Kris will win.  Again, I go back to the demographics but now I add a pinch of human nature.  See if you can follow this – I’ll use small words:

·       American Idol viewers from season’s past know that the semi-finalists each have to sing some lame song that won a song-writing contest.  With the emphasis on “lame,” the contestants are limited as to how much they can sass it up.  Season 6 viewers might remember how this tripped up edgy beatboxer Blake Lewis, who lost to Jordin Sparks.

·       Without an edgy semi-over-the-top performance, Adam’s fans will be less inspired to pick up the phone.  Oh sure, they’ll want him to win and they won’t be voting for Kris.  But it may as well be thunder showering in the ghetto and sunny in the upper class burbs on the first Tuesday in November.  Guess who gets out the votes without that extra inspiration.

·       Adam will be good but not necessarily inspiring.  On the other hand Kris will totally be feeding his base.  They will ooh and aah at his nice rendition of a lame song and say “what a nice young man.”  And they will dial the phone.  Count on it.

·       Essentially the forced lame song will give Kris the edge.  He has the better chance of inspiring his voter base with lameness.  The format of the show will drag Adam down in the final stretch.  Huh… maybe it is rigged.

·       Voters have already picked their sides.  Now it’s all about getting them to vote.  Who will be able to inspire their base to get off their collective asses?  Given the format of the show, Adam will have a handicap. 

Smellin’ what I’m cookin’?

Christopher

Few of us were surprised to see Lil and Anoop go home next week, but I was bewildered that Matt wasn’t even in the bottom three.  After being saved from elimination the previous week when he shouldn’t have been he somehow dodged another bullet.  Can he do it again?  We’ll see in a few short hours. 

In the meantime, I’m back from Las Vegas and I just watched last nights show.  Perhaps by design, I feel like I just watched an old Las Vegas show.  All the contestants did fairly reserved performances in Rat Pack style in suits and thin ties (cocktail dress for Allison) with the band on the stage with them.  If I were to have watched this episode without having seen the last several weeks I’d have a hard time guessing who would stay and who would go.  They all delivered very good vocals, but none of them had “a moment.”  None of them were spectacular.  They all seemed to play it a bit safe.  Even Adam wasn’t as over-the top as I expected he might be. 

Fortunately for me (I think), I have seen the last several weeks.  And we all know how American Idol works.  It’s supposed to be a singing competition, but Americans vote for their favorites based on more than just singing.  So this is the part where I’m supposed to talk-up my favorites and talk smack about the rest:

Kris – Grey suit, thin blue tie, white shirt.  The Way He Looked Tonight was like a seasoned professional.  He probably could have picked a better song and sassed it up a bit more, but it was good and he’s still my choice to win.  I’m actually a pinch disappointed but I’m confident that he won’t be sent home this week.

Allison – She turned 17 this week and got some fashion assistance.  She wore a very nice cocktail dress with a black top and black/white skirt.  I loved her smoky vocals (yes, really… she’s only 17), but I hope she has Someone To Watch Over (her).  Even Simon hinted that it didn’t matter that she did a great job – she just hasn’t developed the fan base some of the other contestants have.  One of the best of the night, but not the “moment” she needed to put her up a notch.

Matt – Grey suit, thin cranberry tie, blue shirt.  He got a “B” at Western Michigan University when he studied jazz, but he sang like he got an “A.”  Unfortunately for him, this isn’t WMU… it’s AI and he isn’t My Funny Valentine.  Great job, but I think he’ll be standing next to Allison at the end of the night.  Too little, too late.

Danny – Black suit, baby blue thin tie, white shirt.  He’s been a pinch bland the past few weeks, so it was good to see him take it up a notch this week to prove he still deserves to be in this.  Great vocals as always, but still not quite a magical moment.  However, Come Rain or Come Shine, he’ll still be on the show next week.

Adam – White suit, thin white tie, black shirt.  Looked great and made the best entrance of the night, but it was a bit “Wayne Newton” for me.  I saw Wayne Newton in Vegas almost five years ago.  It was so cheesy I needed to take a Lactaid pill.  Adam sang way better than Wayne (of course Wayne’s voice is pretty much shot these days), but in the end he’s ready to headline in Las Vegas – not top the Billboard charts.  I’ll bet he’d be a GREAT show to see in Las Vegas.  I would go see that show.  Assuming he threw in some semi-naked showgirls, of course.  He’ll be Feeling Good after this week’s results show.

Prediction:  Matt and Allison will be the bottom two.  No idea which one will go home.  I’ll say Matt only because he should have been gone last week.  And the week before.

I think Adam, Danny and Kris are the top three.  But with only five contestants, that puts one of them in the bottom three too.  I’m not even going to hazard a guess. 

Christopher

I called the bottom two last week but slanted the wrong way on my prediction for whom would get the boot.  So the ending wasn’t too much of a surprise… until the judges invoked the “save.” 

WHAT?!?  Lil and Matt were the bottom two for a reason – they both deserved to go.  They don’t have a chance.  Why save Matt?  It made no sense.

The concept of the save actually isn’t that bad – A one-time per season veto by the judges if the “voters” get it wrong.  But they used it on a week when the “voters” got it right.  One-time save PISSED away. 

What if Adam were to end up with the least votes this week?  Not likely to happen, but can you imagine the collective “oops” we’d hear?  Clearly, more than any other season, the judges have let their self-recognized importance go to their heads.  And the producers haven’t helped matters by giving them more air time and some fancy entrances.

Had the “save” been used for a clearly surprising outcome then it would have been a cool feature of the show.  However, the execution just highlights how full of themselves the judges have become.  They used it just to use it.

George W. Bush did not use the presidential veto power his entire first term in office.  You use a tool if it’s needed, not just to use it.

For the record, I did not just say something nice about George W.  I was just stating a random fact.  And if Adam had been saved from a 7^th place exit it would have made sense to me even though he won’t win.  It would have made sense because I know several misguided persons who think he does have a chance – unlike Matt.  Nobody I talked to thought Matt should have been saved.  NOBODY.

As for disco night… it could have been better.  But for those of us who weren’t a huge fan of disco the first time around, I’ll admit it could have been a lot worse.

Lil – Well, she looked good.  One piece black sleeveless pant thingie – I don’t remember my 70’s fashion lingo, but it was a good look for her.  She should have been gone last week and I’ll agree with ALL of the judges that she is done this week.  I don’t see how she can possibly dodge the boot again.  She may be Every Woman, but she is clearly not the next American Idol.  Oh… and how annoying was it that she kept defending her performance as “not karaoke” when none of the judges had called it karaoke?  (Although I suppose they had implied it.)  Ba-bye.

Kris – $3 white tee shirt that he probably borrowed from Simon and grey pants.  Remember when Clapton slowed down and unplugged Layla?  Both versions were good (dare I say great) and the latter version was clearly a recognizable successor of the earlier version yet completely original in many ways.  Like Layla unplugged, this semi-unplugged and original arrangement was instantly recognizable yet completely different.  A nearly flawless execution worthy of someone soon to be named the next American Idol.  I may have been wishy washy with my endorsement last week, but I am now confident that he’s got this just about locked up.  Some woman may Work Hard For the Money but Kris is earning his title.

Danny – Black shirt and jacket with jeans.  Consistently great vocals, but less memorable and less cool of an arrangement compared to some of the other contestants.  There were elements of a “wedding singer” performance, but still very good.  He’s headed to the final four.

Allison – Hot Stuff in her 70’s getup of tight black pants, silver sequined top and white semi-jacket.  (Hot Stuff in a NON dirty-old-man kinda way – seriously… she’s like 16 and it’s just a play on the song title.  Get your collective minds out of the gutter.)  Has anyone else noticed her eyes seem weird?  As if all pupil and no iris.  Some might say “pie eyed” … as would be seen in an innocently deflective question posed by a woman who may or may not have something to hide.

“Anyone want some pie?” (blink) “ It’s blueberry.”  (blink… blink…) 

Where was I?  Oh yea… vocals/performance… good stuff.  Also final four.

Adam – Was he headed to a funeral next?  Very dapper in a tasteful black suit and tie.  Gabardine?  Look… the dude is enormously talented, but he peaked two weeks ago with the incredible “Mad World” performance.  I watched last week again and I’ll admit that it was better than I gave him credit for, but he’s shot his wad.  It’s down hill from here.  He doesn’t have the consistency, the clearly identifiable target market or the well rounded musicianship that Kris has.  It boggles my mind that the judges fawn over him so overtly.  I suppose that it’s not surprising that Paula gets moist whenever he’s on stage, but Simon needs to check his man card.  Definitely final four, probably top 3, possibly runner up.  Not going to win.

Matt – Brown leather jacket over white shirt and black string-bean tie.  If there’s any justice, he won’t be Stayin’ Alive.  Hopefully he’ll be joining Lil for a redo of last week’s bottom two.  He started out better than last week but I thought his vocals fell apart as the song progressed.  The only thing that could save him is Anoop’s poor song choice and arrangement. 

Anoop – Grey suit over pink tie and sweater.  Not a bad look, but the guy does not pull off the unshaven look well.  Nobody is going to Dance the Night Away to that performance.  His vocals were better than Matt’s but Simon nailed it when he called it “mediocre at best.”  If he survives this week I’m pretty sure he’ll be done next week.  No matter what he sings.

The predictions for this week (and next): 

·       Lil and Matt are headed home.

·       Anoop will round out the bottom three.

·       If for some reason Anoop gets saddled with Lil’s or Matt’s rightful spot, the misdeed will correct itself next week.

·       Kris, Adam, Allison and Danny will be our final four.

Heads up:  Next week I won’t be able to watch the performance show until Wednesday morning.  I should have a recap out by early afternoon.  Be sure to subscribe to this site if you haven’t already done so.  That way you’ll get an email alert as soon as it’s available.

Christopher

I have to pat myself on the back.  I totally called the departures for the last three weeks.  Michael (finally), then Megan (caw caw), and last week it was Scott.  Let’s see if I can keep it up.

This week the contestants chose songs from movies then met with Quentin Tarantino for some “direction.”  Fortunately we were spared the barrage of F-bombs that plague some of his films.  Then again… maybe a few F-bombs would have livened up this batch of performances.  Except for Adam, it was a bit of a yawner.  And Adam?  That was a bit… well, Adam.

Allison – Looked ok in a black top with belt and red pants.  Certainly better that some past weeks.  Throw in the single, black-lace, fingertipless glove and some Aerosmith and there was the potential for a great performance.  Vocals were decent and she has some energy, but it was a bit too cut-rate Vegas actish for me.  Simon and Paula liked it.  I’ll put her square in the middle of this week’s performances – which puts her ½ a step away from the bottom three and may still find herself there.  I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing… actually I coulda missed this one.

Anoop – Black jacket with white sleeves, a shirt that wasn’t stripes or plaid… something in the middle, and a tie.  Everything I do I do for You, but Anoop did just enough to land himself in the middle with Allison. 

Adam – Leather jacket, pants, hair, eye makeup, nails… a lot of black.  What can you say?  He can definitely sing and parts were good.  He has lots of energy and it was kind of entertaining.  When a bunch of drag queens decide to do a campy off-Broadway version of Easy Rider – he’s your man.  But if that’s what you’re going for then maybe I’d like Norman Gentle from Group 2 earlier in the season to come back.  Adam was awesome last week and I’m sure he’s on his way to the top three, but I stand by my prediction that he will not win.  Maybe Born to Be a little too Wild.

Matt – White shirt with black vest and tie.  Love the song (and the movie it was from) and I liked that he went with the black grand piano, but then the bad notes jumped in.  To Really Love a Woman you have to sing better.   Unless the enemy has studied his Agrippa… which I have.  (I know, wrong movie.  But that was fun for me.)

Danny – He ditched the cool glasses he usually wears and went all Miami Vice on us:  powder blue jacket over white tee, faded jeans, week’s worth of stubble.  Ditch the socks and give him some deck shoes and he could be in a poster with Crockett and Tubbs.  If he has Endless Love for staying on this show he’s going to have to take it up a notch.  But it wasn’t terrible, so I don’t expect him to be in trouble this week.

Kris – Grey jacket with turned up collar over tee shirt and jeans.  Randy dogged him – not in a good way, but Kara loved it.  I didn’t know the song or the movie it was from.  I thought it was pretty good but not his best.  He’s not Falling Slowly he’s rising steadily to the top of this group.

Lil – Looking good in black sleeveless top with belt and black pants.  But she sounded awful.  She won’t be getting The Rose for that performance unless the rose means you are going home. 

The predictions for this week: 

·       Lil or Matt is headed home.  I’m going with Lil.

·       Anoop or Allison will round out the bottom three.

·       Danny, Kris, and Adam should be safe.

BOLD PREDICTION FOR THE SEASON: 

All ya’ll who think Adam is the cat’s pajamas are wrong if you think he’s going to win this season.  PUT DOWN THE CRACK PIPE.  Oh, he’ll be in the top three – but not the winner. 

Last year I successfully predicted that David Cook was going to win when the group got to six.  This week we are at seven and I’m not as confident with my prediction – but I’m going with Kris.

So far I’m collecting two lunches when Adam loses.  I don’t even care who actually wins.  (Harry and Sharon – thank you in advance.)  Readers get ready – time to start talking some smack about this heated competition!

Hey – I’ll be at a bar tomorrow night celebrating the end of tax season when the results show is on.  If anyone actually watches the show real-time instead of DVR (does anybody still do that), please text me the bottom three and who got the boot if you think of it.

Christopher – a cobbler without shoes

I don’t think it was a surprise to anyone that Megan went home last week.  In fact I know a few people who were probably cheering in their living rooms and at least one who was clapping her hands loudly above her head.  How cute that she picked up one of her husband’s annoying habits.

Another boring category – a song from the year they were born.  Show seemed a little better than last week, maybe because we cut it from two hours to one.  Also, less crap and more marginal performances than last week.  And at least one really good one – often the case at this stage of the competition.  Here’s the low down:

Danny – 1980.  Casual black suit over cranberry shirt and skinny black tie.  Arrangement wasn’t that great but the judges gushed over his vocals.  He is very good and I’m sure several of you will Stand By Me when I say he will be one of the two finalists.  But can he win? 

Kris – 1985.  Casual taupe jacket over black collarless shirt.  Great job making it his own and the vocals were good, but I didn’t like that he sang inside a tight circle of audience members instead of on the real stage.  Judges were a bit harsh on him, but I’ll admit he wasn’t as good as last week.  Of course, last week he was awesome.  I still keep playing that one back.  Possibly the other finalist?

Lil – 1984.  Black leather vest with peek-a-boo back, short black skirt and bling for shoes.  Roundly and deservedly panned by the judges as “karaoke” and “ghastly copycat.”  I watched the show with Dave, who rarely saw the show before this season, and he was muttering as much throughout the performance.  She may love being on the show, but What’s Love Got to do With It?  Count on her to be in the bottom three and she’s in real danger of going home.

Anoop – 1986.  Lime green and white horizontal striped cardigan over baby blue shirt and faded yellow tie.  Last week he sucked, but this week he showed his True Colors with some nice vocals.  He may have dug himself out of the bottom three – if only for a week.

Scott – 1985.  He should have stuck with the piano.  The electric guitar wasn’t necessarily a bad idea, but it was wrong for the song.  Simon called it “horrible” but I thought there were some good vocals in there.  The whole thing reminded me of our current president at a bowling alley.  Special, but The Search is Over for the next member of this week’s bottom three.

Allison – 1992.  All in black… leather jacket, salsa skirt and CFMs.  Not as bad a look as last week, but still not great.  Some great vocals and the judges loved it, but we need to round out that bottom three and she’s been there enough to know the way.  She already knows why she’d be there… I can’t make you love me.

Matt – 1985.   Upgraded from pleather to leather and added a cool hat.  Some great vocals but still a Part Time Lover.  I don’t know what I mean by that either, but he’s probably safe this week and still doesn’t have a chance of winning this thing.

Adam – 1982.  I loved the bluish moonlight style lighting.  (Red is grey and yellow white. And we decide which is right.)  I’m always a little nervous about his performances.  I know they will be good, but not necessarily great, and they are usually a pinch over-the-top.  Not this week.  This week his vocals were outstanding and there was nothing over-the-top about it.  Fantastic – and I’m not just saying that to please my ex-wife.  Even Simon gave him a standing-o… a rare event by itself.  He’s definitely earned a spot in the final four.  I still don’t think he will win.

The predictions: 

·       Lil, Scott and Allison in the bottom three.  Allison doesn’t belong there, but she’s no stranger and I think she can dodge the boot again. 

·       Anoop did well this week, but I’ll pick him as my alternate because Danny, Kris, Matt and Adam should be completely safe this week.

·       Lil or Scott headed home?  Too close to call, but I’ll go with Scott.

·       If anyone other than Lil or Scott is singing at the end of the show then look for the judges to use their one time save. 

Cold-hearted orb that rules the night
Removes the colors from our sight

Christopher

p.s. Apparently I’m in a “Mood”

Apologies to the Moody Blues

FINALLY… a week without Michael the oil rigger.  So we got THAT going for us. 

Unfortunately, many of our single digit contestants made completely stupid or ill suited song choices this week.  iTune downloads was a lazy theme for the week.  Guess they couldn’t find a guest.  With so many options available, you’d think we’d get some awesome performances.  As I saw it, we maybe got one.  Here’s the rundown…

Anoop – Black suit over wide red and white horizontal stripes.  And some weird chain on his shoulder.  Usher him to the bottom three, because he’s Losing Control.  Some decent vocals, but that’s not good enough.  He lacked proper animation for the song and I thought it was a stupid song choice.  He might be saved by…

Megan – Oh my.  My poor, sweet Megan.  So talented – in a quirky way.  And yet so AWEFUL – for the second week in a row.  I’ve grown to dislike the new judge… actually ALL the judges seem increasingly annoying… but I think Kara nailed it when she said Megan is probably in “trouble.”  She didn’t even look that good.  Hair was all bird’s nestish.  (Caw, caw.)  And what was up with all those chains and necklaces?  Maybe votefortheworst.com will buy her another week?

Danny – Black suit over black and with print tee.  What Hurts the Most was that I didn’t like the song choice.  But beyond that, it was a very good vocal and the judges all loved it.  Look for him in the finals, but not necessarily because of this performance.  I thought it was boring and the judges were probably just happy to hear someone that didn’t completely suck.

Allison – Still in need of a fashion consult and the judges let her know it.  And the hair… I’ve seen better hairdos on troll dolls.  I liked the song choice, but she didn’t deliver as well as last week.  No Doubt she’ll be on to the next round, but Don’t Speak about her doing a great job this week.

Scott – Black leather jacket over black shirt and pants sitting at a black grand piano.  I hated the new hairstyle.  Apparently he didn’t look in the mirror when the stylist was done with him.  (Ooh… I think I even offend myself with the inappropriateness of that comment.)  As for song choice – he made one of the better choices of the night.  Unfortunately, he didn’t deliver as well as I’d hoped.  Judges loved it and I’m sure he’s safe this week, but I thought it was just ok.  Scott… I don’t like you Just the Way You Are.  I was hoping for better.

Matt – Black shiny pleather Member’s Only jacket over black and blue print tee.  Funny how they wheeled off the beautiful grand piano and brought out a small electric piano for him.  Between the pleather and 2^nd rate piano – it all seemed rather hotel loungish.  Matt… You Found Me thinking weak performance and wrong song choice.  Possible bottom three again?

Lil – Loved the hair – much nicer than last week.  Not sure I liked the faded powder blue evening gown.  Very nice vocal, but boring song choice.  I Surrender to the fact that she’ll be around for a while.

Adam – Eddie Munster hair and black suit over blue tee.  Just needed the fangs.  Original and entertaining… he definitely Played That Funky Music, White Boy.  Clearly safe again, but still not one of my favorites.

Kris – Simple grey tee with jeans and sitting behind the 2^nd rate electric piano.  If you’re going to go minimalist then bring the talent.  And he did.  I’ve been calling him middle-of-the pack, but if he keeps delivering like that we could see him in the top three.  Ain’t No Sunshine in tonight’s AI episode until he hit the stage.  Great job!

Kris was the only reason to watch the show this week, so if you missed it and plan to fire up the DVR later then you should fast forward to the end.  Adam was entertaining, but not what I would call American Idol.   

The prediction:  Anoop, Megan and Matt in the bottom three.  (Scott as an alternate.)  Megan is probably gone, but I’d prefer to see Anoop packing his bags even though I kinda liked him in past weeks.

Two weeks until tax deadline!  If you are a client who owes me info – get off your fanny.  If you aren’t a client and need help – feel free to give me a call. 

Back to my day job… 

Christopher

I know I’m not alone when I say that I still can’t believe Alexis is gone.  Admittedly, she made a terrible song choice last week and maybe she deserved to be in the bottom three.  But gone?  It just seems too early to be sending her back to the trailer park.

This week – the sounds of Motown. 

Matt – Black cardigan over blue shirt and thin tie.  He may look like he’s on his way to visit Mr. Roger’s neighborhood, but he was sounding like he wanted to Get It On.  Nice job from the Michigan native – way to represent!

Kris – Non-regulation modified military shirt and black pants.  His vocals were ok, and I’ll give him props for trying to make it his own, but I didn’t care for it.  How Sweet It Is for him that the judges liked it.  I’m guessing he is safe.

Scott – Pinstripe suit coat over paisley shirt.  It started out good but then faded into a typical hotel performance.  You Can’t Hurry Love but you can start picking better songs.  And he better do that in a hurry. 

Megan – Ok… regular readers know I like her quirky sound.  She’s not bad to look at either (although I wish she’d cover up the tat sleeve).  That said… WTF???  Terrible.  Completely wrong song.  Dreadful interpretation.  I didn’t even like the dress.  And, of course, she still can’t dance – which puts a damper on her backup career with a pole.  She’s certain to be headed for a spot in the bottom 3 this week.  Hopefully she is saved by the desperately needed Michael departure.

Anoop – Modified black varsity jacket.  Some decent crooning, so maybe he does deserve to letter in music.  But Oooh Baby Baby… it was just ok for me.  I’m putting him in the middle of the pack with Kris this week.

Michael – Karaoke hell.  He Ain’t Too Proud to Beg, but begging ain’t gonna help.  Even the judges hated it.  (Paula too!)  As if I needed another reason to want him gone, he even added an “s” to the word “anyway” during some pre-performance banter.  So NOT fair that he is even here and Alexis is gone.  Anywaysssss.

Lil – Cute fringe dress with spaghetti straps ala 20’s flapper, but the hairdo didn’t seem to work with the ensemble.  The hair was kind of helmetish.  Check the silhouette and tell me you don’t think of Darth Vader.  She should have hit Nathan up for his headband before he got kicked off the show.  As for the singing… I expected her to shine but she ended up melting in the Heat Wave.  Wrong song, some bad notes, and overall a casino lounge performance.  Judges expected more too.  Nevertheless, she’s probably safe this week.

Adam – Silvery grey suit over black shirt and product infused DA haircut.  (Dude, watch the shelf.)  Don’t bother looking for the Tracks of My Tears because he didn’t cause me to weep with joy or sorrow.  It was very good and I dug the whole acoustic arrangement, but it’s annoying how much the judges were fawning all over him.  Even Simon.  Still… great week for him and he deserves his spot in the single digits.

Danny – Black shirt with indistinguishable graphics.  I thought he was great even though Simon panned his performance.  Nice job working the stage… especially the dance move with the backup singers.  Get Ready to see more from him.

Allison – She’s not the first 16 year old to need some fashion assistance, but she doesn’t need much help with the singing.  AWESOME.  Best performance of the night.  Maybe her Pappa Was a Rolling Stone, but she will find a home in the recording business.  Hat or no hat. 

Dare I make any predictions after last week’s disaster?  Ah… why not:

Michael HAS to go.  Megan and possibly Scott will keep him company in the bottom three this week, but hopefully America will finally get it right and send the oil rigger on his way. 

Lil is my alternate for a bottom three spot – not that she deserves to be there.  She’s got a great voice but she has to start choosing better songs.

Christopher.

Country star Randy Travis coached the Idols this week.  Fortunately there wasn’t too much twang even though it was country week.  (You knowz I’m not a big fan of tha twang.)

Talk on the web (emailed to me by several GH&C readers) is that the top 4 have been pre-determined.  Not sure I’m buying into that.  Then again, not entirely sure that I care.  At least the supposed final four doesn’t include tonight’s first performer…

Michael – He may not be Goin’ Down Until the Sun Comes Up, but the sun may be coming up tomorrow.  You’d think that this would be his week to be safe.  Country week was his chance to shine, twang and all.  But I think he’s in danger.  Of course, I don’t think he should be here at all.

Allison – Brown jacket over blouse with black breasts and print of red hearts on white.  And a hearts necklace.  And Blame It On the Heart.  Skipped around a bit on stage, but belted out her song with just a hint of twang (just so but not too-too).  She’s got heart, and she’ll be back.

Kris – Black shirt, grey pants, and a decidedly non-country version of song trying To Make us Feel his Love.  Well sung ballad, but I was kinda bored.

Lil – Fuchsia dress ala prom night.  Maybe she should have gone with Independence Day red, white and blue.  Vocals were good, but she was definitely out of her element.  I think she belongs in the bottom three this week, but she probably won’t be. 

Adam – He stole The Terminator’s bullet holed leather jacket and took it out to the shed with a can of silver spray paint. Then he added a black v-neck, black pants and black leather gloves with the fingers cut off so he could show off the black nail polish he borrowed from Allison.  Welcome to country week!  Simon called it “indulgent rubbish.”  I don’t get all the Adam hype, but I kinda liked it.  I’m not ready to put him in a Ring of Fire.  Yet.

Scott – At the piano in brown leather jacket over black shirt and pants.  Kara summed it up best by saying that he needs to up his game but that he brings class and poise to the stage.  It was a good vocal, but I’m not sure that enough Wild Angels were prompted to dial in.  Possible bottom 3.

Alexis – Another black dress but this time less slutty.  She kind of has that Dolly Parton look only without the boobs.  I don’t know about Jolene, but I thought her performance was disappointing.  And she was a little too “Kelly Pickler” during the banter with the judges.  She’s still one of my favorites but last week she was a little too dirty and this week she wasn’t dirty enough.  Maybe next week she finds the baby bear balance.

Danny – What do you say about that jacket?  Sleeves were too short to be a straight jacket.  Wasn’t long enough in the waist to be a safari jacket.  Needed more zippers or some gold trim to be a Michael Jackson hand-me-down.  He wasn’t great, but he didn’t crash and burn when he let Jesus Take the Wheel.

Anoop – Two jackets?  Aren’t they in California?  Black jacket over purple, grey and turquoise hoodie.  I won’t suggest that he’s Always on My Mind, but he showed why I predicted that he could be in the top half of the final 13. 

Megan – I’ll Go Walking After Midnight with her anytime!  Shimmery brown and turquoise floor length dress with halter top.  This week her odd dance moves seemed a little less irritating and a lot more distracting.  For some reason I’m thinking about coconuts.   (I don’t think it has anything to do with the name of this web site.)  Coconuts aside, I continue to like her quirky style.  

Matt – Black suit and tie with white shirt.  I didn’t really like the song, but I thought it was a great vocal.  Maybe his chances of making it to the single digits aren’t So Small after all.

I predict Michael, Kris and Scott in the bottom three – although I think Lil deserves to be there this week. 

Megan continues to be my sentimental favorite even though I know she won’t win the season. 

I still think Alexis and Danny will make the final four even though they were a bit weak this week.

Anyone else annoyed by the excessive blathering of the judges?  Not only did they add a fourth judge but it seems like each judge spends more time running on at the mouth.  I’d rather have more commercials!

Christopher

Nobody wore one sequined glove and I didn’t catch anyone grabbing their crotch.  I also didn’t see any performances worthy of a future king or queen of pop.  Don’t get me wrong, there were a couple good ones.  But nobody does Michael like Michael.

Lil – Pink top with one ruffled shoulder, white pants and silver high heel strapies.  It was ok, but she didn’t Make Me Feel the way the judges felt.  They all loved it.  Easily safe tonight but she is overrated.

Scott – Olive wool eastern block military jacket and jeans.  He had a piano, but he’s going to have to do better if I’m going to Keep The Faith.  He did pretty well, but Simon hated the song choice and so did I. 

Danny – Church choir boy knocked out a high energy PYT in a herringbone blazer over maroon shirt with matching maroon glasses.  Simon called the vocals “brilliant” but didn’t like his dancing.  I thought he was one of the better performers of the night and I stand by my earlier prediction that he will be around a while.

Michael – So far tonight the judges have been overly nice to everyone.  Which was fine for the first three performers, but now I think they are all on crack.  If you didn’t like the oil rigger karaoke then You’re Not Alone.  I’m still calling for an early departure.  The judges’ fawning might save him this week, but I hope not.

Jasmine – Web site says she’s 16, but apparently she’s 17.  Cute silky pink dress.  Judges started to be a little less nice, but I’ll Be There for her this week.  Wasn’t great but it wasn’t terrible either.

Instead of just the contestants, maybe I should start to comment on what the judges are wearing.  Actually… just Paula.  This week – what’s up with those feathers?  Also, am I the only one that noticed she was slurring a lot?

Kris – Ugly short sleeved green/black/white checkerboard shirt and black pants.  I thought he did pretty well but I agree that it probably wasn’t the best choice of song for busting out a guitar.  In a few weeks we might not Remember The Time he sang a Michael Jackson song, but I think he’ll still be in the competition.

Allison – Black faux leather hoodie over black top with belt and random chains.  Throw in some grey stretch pants and black boots and her outfit almost distracted you from all the unnaturally red hair.  I thought it was a great vocal on a boring song that I didn’t know.  I’ll Give In To (Her) for now. 

Anoop – Grey casual fall jacket over black tie and white shirt.  Judges have gone from overly nice to obnoxiously mean.  Even Paula hated it and she usually has nice things to say for everyone.  They all pretty much want him to Beat It.  I’ll admit it wasn’t the greatest, but he was better than a few others tonight, including…

Jorge – Grey blazer with pushed up sleeves over purple V-neck and black jeans.  If he Never Can Say Goodbye then I will.  Goodbye.

Megan – Dear, sweet, Megan.  Cute red dress with doilies fashioned into shoulder straps.  I wish she’d cover up the tattoo sleeve, but shucks… I like her.  Simon hated it and I know some of you probably did too.  (Chippy?)  Kara pointed out that she puts her signature sound on everything and I’d like to see more.  I know she can’t win, but I love the quirkiness.  She probably should stop trying to dance (awful), but she’s our little Rockin’ Robin.  Did anyone else catch her “caw, caw” at the end?

(Poodle – the robin goes “caw, caw”)

Adam – I think he should have worn all Black and White.  Dress for the part, so to speak.  Instead he wore a bluish leather jacket, a too-low V-neck shirt and black jeans.  He was very good… in fact one of the best of the night.  But the judges started smoking drugs again because they were ALL raving about him as if this was the best Idol performance ever.  It wasn’t. 

Matt – Brown leather jacket over a white shirt.  Pretty solid performance, so I think he’s safe this week.  It’s Human Nature for people to vote for a performance like that. 

Alexis – Maybe she’s gone a pinch overboard with the “dirty it up” advice.  Little black dress with black hose and multi silver chained necklace.  She looked a little dirty, she sounded a little dirty and she sang a little Dirty Diana.  Not quite as good as the performance that got her into the top 12, but still one of my favorites for the season.

Two are going home this week – I’m hoping for Michael and Jorge.  Jasmine and Anoop are potentially in danger.  Danny, Adam and Alexis were the best of the night.  PLEASE don’t send Megan home yet.  (Caw, caw.)

Christopher