Looking back to Tuesday for just a moment, the girls delivered some good performances and decent vocals.  A few aren’t “worthy” but only one was painful.  Wednesday night I was expecting the guys to pale in comparison.  That was an understatement.  I think my ears actually bled.  As for the judges… they are all on CRACK.  Here’s how I saw it:

Lee Dewyze – Hated it.  Black and blue plaid shirt with jeans.  I didn’t know the song and I didn’t think it was that great.  Actually, kind of boring.  I thought the judges were a little too nice to him.  Who knew they were just warming up?  Fireflies in a jar would be more entertaining.

Alex Lambert – Ok, this one I liked.  Black jacket, white shirt, jeans.  Perfect song choice for him and I thought the vocals were really good, which the judges didn’t deny.  But then they spent most of the time critiquing his stage presence as “stiff” and suggesting that he still needs to get some confidence.  My favorite of the night – he better not be in Trouble.

Tim Urban – Black banded-collar shirt and jeans.  The vocals were just ok and he added nothing.   Two years ago Jason Castro did a much better job with this song, let alone trying to compare to the original.  So essentially I thought it sucked.  Which is why I’m dumbfounded that Ellen felt the need to go out on stage and hug him while the rest of the judges praised him – Hallelujah! What?

Andrew Garcia – Hated it.  Black cardigan with white accents over white tee and jeans.  He’s got a decent voice but I think it was a bad song choice and a risky arrangement that failed.  A rare moment of the night when I agreed with the judges, because they didn’t care for it either.  Took too long for him to get to the hook and when he did there was no Jeanie In A Bottle. Could be in trouble.

Casey James – Hated it.  And dude – wash and comb the hair.  Ellen thought it was “great” and Simon said it “sounded great.”  I tried to listen again but it was too painful.  First 5 guys of the night all brought a guitar on stage, but I’ll give Casey his due for having the coolest.  Check out the zoom shot of the guitar showing the hummingbird.  He sang You’ll Think of Me, but I’d rather not.  He wasn’t even good enough for around the campfire.

Aaron Kelly – Hated it.  Grey plaid untucked shirt and black pants.  Really rough start then got a little better, but lots of bad notes and I’m not just talking about the twang.  Judges were a bit mixed on this one.  If we’re starting a line to vote him off I’m Already There.

Todrick Hall – Hated it.  Charcoal wool coat with off center zipper, dirty white pants and fingerless black leather gloves.  Randy called it the “best”… Ellen and Kara liked it too.  Simon dialed it down but was still mostly positive.  Are they passing a bong around when the camera isn’t on them?  Find me Somebody to Love, because it’s not Todrick.

Michael Lynch – Black blazer, vest and tie with white shirt and jeans.  I’m not going to say “hated it” but I didn’t think it was that great.  Randy and Ellen LOVED IT, Kara was moved to tears and Simon declared that he “100% nailed it” before realizing that he desperately needed some snack chips and cheese whiz.  Oh… and some Cheetos.  And maybe some iced animal crackers.  Somewhere in there someone declared it the best performance from any contestant all season.  Judges need to wipe the powder off their noses, Kara needs fresh mascara and Simon needs munchies STAT.  They are all on drugs and clearly can’t handle This Woman’s Work.

To summarize:

SAFE (for now):  Michael… mostly because he’s use to being in this category but also because the judges all fawned over him like drunken prom dates.

Hopefully Safe:  Alex – great vocals AND a mullet!

In trouble even if the judges don’t see it:  Tim, Casey and Todrick.

Terrible:  Lee, Andrew and Aaron.

Last week it was obvious which guys were departing.  This week I can’t even guess and pretty much don’t care.

– Christopher

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