Idol – 12 Guys
Dah-na na-na na-na na-nah… they say it’s my birthday, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! Next I will sing Tonight’s Gonna Be a Good Night, because I should be the next American Idol. Seriously – I’m probably as good as what I’ve seen this week.
Alright, maybe that’s an exaggeration. But when Randy started off Wednesday’s show by saying that the girls “blew it out” I realized who replaced Paula as the possibly-stoned-bubblehead. My ex-wife could get more votes with her version of Mandy than most of those girls on Tuesday. (And only some of those votes would be mine.)
The really sad part – The girls WERE better. Using my S-H-I-T scoring system for last night’s performances, I had so many Ts I had to re-grade on a curve.
For those not familiar with my scoring system, it is actually new. I created it this week based on what we apparently have to work with. Safe for now, Hopefully safe, Indifferent, and Think about packing.
But before I score up the guys, here is the recap:
Todrick Hall – Black leather over grey tee. Ellen pointed out that it was a good performance more than a good vocal. Rap-i-fied Since You Been Gone was… different. Apparently it’s what he “heard in his head,” which is where it should have stayed. Admittedly there were moments of potential in his voice. Probably enough to keep him another week.
Aaron Kelly – The youngest guy in this year’s batch. It was kind of boring, but his vocals were not bad. Judges criticized his confidence level more than the actual performance. Untucked grey plaid flannel shirt over jeans and general eye-candy for the tweenies. Here Comes Goodbye won’t be his problem this week. Definitely has an Archuletta vibe (Season 7 runner up). Safe this week, but I don’t expect him to do as well as Archuletta did. Of course I didn’t expect Archuletta to do as well as Archuletta did.
Jermaine Sellers – Grey tuxedo tails, black hat and long sleeve 3-button tee shirt. How did he Get Here? Bad song choice, several bad notes, screechie. Hated it.
Tim Urban – Light grey leather, black tee, jeans. He probably needs to Apologize for that performance. Judges slammed him. It was all wrong. He reminded me a little of John Peter Lewis from several seasons ago, except that I liked JPL and remember him. I probably won’t remember this guy at the end of THIS season.
Joe Munoz – Black Member’s Only jacket and a scarf over a blue shirt. I hated it but the judges were more forgiving. Three bad performances in a row tonight. I’m sure You and I Both would agree.
Tyler Grady – Purple shirt with small embroidered accents and cuff links plus a thin scarf and black leather pants. He’s got that retro 70s gimmick thing going, but the vocals just aren’t there. Nevertheless, he has some potential and I’m sure he’ll get the American Woman vote this week.
Lee Dewyze – Black tee with “weapon of choice” printed on it. Randy and Kara thought it was a bad song choice, but Simon proclaimed him the best of the night so far and I agree. This guy won’t be Chasing Cars tomorrow.
John Park – Black suit jacket over periwinkle v-neck. God Bless the Child because he is doomed. As bad as bad can be. Think about packing? Don’t think – do.
Michael Lynch – Big Mike wore a grey plaid shirt and jeans. He’s got a new baby and This Love for singing. Remember that guy who played the big dude in The Green Mile? Give him some helium and a guitar and dump him on a bench in the subway. It was a good song choice and it was fun but, as Kara said, it wasn’t “outrageously great.” Definitely safe this week, but hopefully he finds some more talent to go with that love for singing or he’ll have to settle for loose change in his guitar case like some of the women from yesterday.
Alex Lambert – Grey suit jacket over blue banded-collar shirt and jeans. Ellen totally called him out on the mullet. That was when the judges were being nice. I’m sure he wasn’t thinking this is a Wonderful World when they were done with him. The first few lines stared out good, but then I think the nerves got to him and he crashed and burned. It’s potentially fortunate for him that so many have sucked this week. I want him back just so we can pick on the mullet some more.
Casey James – White shirt with… what do they call that doily stitching that country singers have on their shirts – mostly in the shoulder area? One button too many not buttoned – possibly for Kara’s benefit. She seemed to be in Heaven and possibly needed a drool cup. As for the vocals – he was ok but not as good as I expected he’d be. But he’ll totally get another chance.
Andrew Garcia – Black shirt/jeans. I saw some potential. Judges weren’t excited about his performance tonight, but they like him and what they’ve seen previously and want him back next week. I’m sure that can be arranged. Sugar, We’re not Going Down tonight.
Ok, so where does all of this leave us on the SH*T scale? (Curved, or course)
Safe for now: Aaron, Michael and Casey
Hopefully Safe: Tyler, Lee and Andrew
Indifferent: Todrick, Tim and Alex
Think about packing: If your name starts with a “J” (Jermaine, Joe, John)
Anyone else with some thoughts?
– Christopher
Themocracy
Horrid horrid horrid. These guys were just bad and the ones I expected to be good were just okay. My only dispute with your assessment was Tim should be in the T category. He was painful to listen to.
Kyle,
Truth be told, I did have Tim in the T category. But then I couldn’t use my fun “starts with J” line, so I upgraded him.
I said I graded on a curve!
Besides, his smile MIGHT save him for a week. Teenage girls with cell phones. Crazy world.